T H O U G H T S

life as a river that quivers

floats on a flowing reality

of dubious quality

where a ubiquitous authority

drags the boat to the shore

with no remorse

it rewards the best-looking boat

where is the prize for the garbage scow

the uninvited arrive late

but are the ones who bring the change

if you want to retain

control

you need to master your soul

but it’s the mind that thinks

and builds truths and propositions

reminding you of your failed acquisitions

there is a long path you need to go

to erase the faulty code

but it’s worth the try

listen to your heart before you die

 

thoughts/2

shifting concessions

pointless interruptions

of your peace of mind

sometimes i feel i need to bribe my mind to stay calm

breathing intervals

incubating eagle wings

i believe in hope and purity

inner strength and kindness

when it gets a bit dry and dark

trust

take a step back

and watch your instinct elevate you

false alarms

play a repetitive sound

improvise

sympathise with the devil

sometimes he’s there to help you without realising

honesty is a virtue that very few possess

but it’s what will take you through life

without sacrificing your inner peace

 

 

 

on paris, beirut, burundi, but in the end life

it’s not them, it’s us, it’s everyone. we all fight for something but in the end for nothing. we’d rather hate than love. it seems easier to solve our problems that way. because if we love it means we understand. we understand how other people think, feel, live. we don’t want to do this. it requires effort and strength. compassion. we all want others to understand and accept us, be in our position, but we forget to do the same. we let our pride and ego blind us, obscure our vision. it’s a defensive mechanism of which we can’t let go. and thus we hurt. we hurt our loved ones, those who think or feel differently, the innocent, the weak ones. we fill our void. we believe we are something because we have control over others. that way we demonstrate that we are strong and everyone should respect us. vanity. is this our purpose in life? how do we let our worst instincts take over us? the fear of accepting the triviality of human existence. we are taught that we have to be better than others. that we deserve better. that everyone and everything is against us. but no one stresses enough the fact that one can be strong when he/she loves himself/herself. i think it’s important to understand this. it’s not necessary to prove one’s existence to be alive. loving yourself by giving some time to understand yourself, will teach you how to love others.

i think it’s a good time to take a step back and think. think about ourselves. about what matters. talk to ourselves about ourselves. in any case, it’s the most selfish thing we can do. then we can maybe learn. learn what matters to us, learn about life. and after that, actually begin to grow and feel better and proud of who we are and eventually the world.

optimum delirium

your sassy feeling do not excite me. sorry. beware of the glare. i paid my life in a fair and square amount of gummy bears. they are so soft, but they stick in your teeth and somehow irresistible, you can’t really say no. like life and choices. my mum (and i think most mums) always tells me that if you want something very badly the whole universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. i don’t know if it’s true, but i know that if you want something inextricably badly you are going to get it. at some point. maybe not tomorrow, or in 5 years, maybe in ten. but there is something i do believe in. good things are for those who wait. maybe i want to hope so, maybe i’m wrong, but i think patience is the cure for anxiety, coz patience brings calmness. anxiety is bad, i know that, coz anxiety restrains you, anxiety is the devilish monster that won’t let you sleep, because tomorrow you need to go travelling, get a job, be a good partner, a good friend. sometimes you can have it all, but superficially only because you’re tired of waiting, and you’re having fun (i’ve had fun too) but you know it’s not the real thing or what you want anyway. it’s just an excuse to not do what you want. i don’t really have much at the moment, i’m really starting from zero, but at least this time it feels like the right thing and it feels good. it feels good to accept some things about yourself and everyone/everything around you. i’m not saying it’s easy, it’s damn hard having to explain to everyone your new choices but this time you know it’s right and you trust yourself a little bit more. try and find some inner balance and work on yourself before you make any serious decisions. you don’t necessarily have to love yourself, but know yourself (as much as you can). and people, yeah people will say so many things. people love judging and categorising others. we all do it to some extent. you can’t base your life on everyone’s else’s ideals and in any case there is no ideal life coz everyone thinks and acts so different. find something you love or at least you feel comfortable doing and do it. it sounds cheesy and cliche but that’s the only way. don’t ‘but’ or ‘maybe’, just do it. nike. 

Video

Catharsis

Mysterious catastrophes permeate a dream

of lust and glory in a poor man’s heart

subjective realities, spheres of influence

conjure the memories of a future painted in blue

auspicious images of life and a monster

too far to battle

ice in my mind, homeless serenity

savages caress your soul and solve your riddle

eyes dressed in black, a mild throwback

a distant apprehension, a delirium of affection

this is a shy choice, it’s the balance of your inner voice

caricatures of pain and shame will be the sirens of the game

i am a person on my own sometimes

it hurts to need  home

it’s the past that will last forever anyway

why breath in and close your eyes today

reality is an orphan herd

buttress your senses in a heaven filled with night flowers

all this time i was playing chess with the Devil

but now I found my church

This time it’s mine

/ZigZag\

Sinners are the words never said 

that create an atmosphere of mystery or joy

and transcend the boundaries of the imagination 

to welcome a groovy obstacle on Mars

a synonym of lively sequences 

that won’t stop 

courtesy of the sinners 

Bitter serenades 

Secession from a fallen world 

The soul as an entity 

The mind and body 

A baffling identity 

Galloping waves of stubborn feelings 

Reproduce pedantic realities 

Notes sung in gunpowder

Ghost stories sealing deals

It’s so stressful to make sense

A reckless motivation is the remedy 

Too great to expect

Too tight to set loose

But here we go again

Trickles of uneasy laughs

Glasses of desperation

But it all seemed fine

We said nothing to not say some thing

And it was fine

Teasing friendly strangers

To protect ourselves

Dancing with friendly strangers

To enjoy ourselves

It’s all part of the game

I don’t want to give up

It amusingly frightens me

But it’s part of the game

And I don’t want to give up yet

A moment of harmony

A deep, long breath

Until I spit out uncomfortable emotions

A sabotaged smile

Flowers in my tears

Let’s go back where it all ended