your sassy feeling do not excite me. sorry. beware of the glare. i paid my life in a fair and square amount of gummy bears. they are so soft, but they stick in your teeth and somehow irresistible, you can’t really say no. like life and choices. my mum (and i think most mums) always tells me that if you want something very badly the whole universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. i don’t know if it’s true, but i know that if you want something inextricably badly you are going to get it. at some point. maybe not tomorrow, or in 5 years, maybe in ten. but there is something i do believe in. good things are for those who wait. maybe i want to hope so, maybe i’m wrong, but i think patience is the cure for anxiety, coz patience brings calmness. anxiety is bad, i know that, coz anxiety restrains you, anxiety is the devilish monster that won’t let you sleep, because tomorrow you need to go travelling, get a job, be a good partner, a good friend. sometimes you can have it all, but superficially only because you’re tired of waiting, and you’re having fun (i’ve had fun too) but you know it’s not the real thing or what you want anyway. it’s just an excuse to not do what you want. i don’t really have much at the moment, i’m really starting from zero, but at least this time it feels like the right thing and it feels good. it feels good to accept some things about yourself and everyone/everything around you. i’m not saying it’s easy, it’s damn hard having to explain to everyone your new choices but this time you know it’s right and you trust yourself a little bit more. try and find some inner balance and work on yourself before you make any serious decisions. you don’t necessarily have to love yourself, but know yourself (as much as you can). and people, yeah people will say so many things. people love judging and categorising others. we all do it to some extent. you can’t base your life on everyone’s else’s ideals and in any case there is no ideal life coz everyone thinks and acts so different. find something you love or at least you feel comfortable doing and do it. it sounds cheesy and cliche but that’s the only way. don’t ‘but’ or ‘maybe’, just do it. nike.
Fantasies of an underground alley
Diced perceptions of reality
Wildly manicured images on the walls
Suffocate us gently on the deck of a dissonant ship
Dancing inside our souls and minds
A wolf and a bear won’t understand
A voice can’t be tamed
Rules don’t obey her
Our secrets and our sins
Peak in moments of weakness
Faculties of lies sound glorious
In retrospect everything fell apart
Dots are easier to connect when you’re true to yourself. Listen to people. talk to people. but don’t ignore people. Sometimes sour love is better than no love.
Music and life and music and life would go hand in hand if you were the hero of a pedantic dream that never ended. I want my life to treat me like a hero and hurt me like an antihero. Sometimes you are better than you think. The sun is out and all the kids want to go to the park and play their bodies out. Zig zag in a map of no beliefs. Ideas of sweetness drive my inner thoughts. I want to see and feel and see and feel. Never stop. Ever. You’ll get bored otherwise. Feel your inner truth, trust your inner truth. Dance to it. The sun’s out. I need to go to bed.
‘Due to unforeseen operations the restaurant will remain closed until further notice’. Imagine you have to meet an important deadline or go to a general meeting and tell your boss that ‘due to unforeseen circumstances I will not be able to hand it in on time/attend the meeting’ and he will be like ‘yeah, no biggie, I understand’ haha funny.
Sometimes i pretend that I am a dog and it feels so good to be a dog, because everyone treats you nicely and no one really expects anything of you. Like you can’t help it, you are cute. Have you heard anyone say ‘i hate this dog’ (except for chihuahuas, i don’t like chihuahuas). Dogs are there to make you happy and even if they don’t mean it they do. It’s cool to be a dog. And then i wonder why sometimes people treat you like shit, despite you being a cute dog, they are taking all their shit out on you. And you are only there to offer some sort of entertainment to their boring lives. And then i remember that most people are cats.
Some days it feels good to get the best grade, to win 3-0 straight sets, to see your favourite band playing live and have Risotto al funghi. I think i will not get out of my 10-year-old pyjamas and watch tv. all day. mmm pasta with red sauce sounds delicious.
we were walking and you were holding my hand and you said that rabbits are always scared and that’s why they run. they are cute and all but they wouldn’t survive in a human society. imagine we were like, flamingos or armadillos and had to hide all the time so that no one could find us. but then we had banana ice cream and a blueberry muffin. it happened to be better than last time. or i don’t know, it tasted better in my mouth ///___///
i’ve recently realised or better actually understood that people are scared, like really scared about everything and it makes them do things they hate that they don’t realise how much they hate doing them. it’s not like a conscious decision. they just don’t think there can ever be something more to it. it’s like biting the bottom bit of your ice cream cone, when you know it’s going to disintegrate anyway and you’re gonna get ice cream all over your body \\\___\\\
imagine being nice to people. imagine doing what you really want to do. now add them up together. what do you get? sometimes, it can be so easy and sometimes it can be equally hard. you decide how you want it to be. i mean people are not always going to be nice to you and probably they don’t have to, but you are not doing it for them. it’s really about energy. if this is positive even better. it’s so much easier. <<>>
i know this is not news but when people do not receive love they act very strangely (in every possible sense). it all starts because they don’t learn to love themselves, so they can’t appreciate themselves. and then they get trapped because they don’t know who they are and what they like and they get depressed. but what is really being depressed? it’s being trapped in yourself because you always want to be someone else but yourself. this is the 21st century plague. it’s not a cliche, spread the love, even if you need to put extra effort **(!(&)**